When your child doesn’t want to live
“Do you want to live today?” I ask my son, as he stands by the refrigerator.
I realize this is a strange question to ask your child, but this is our new normal. It has been for a few months now, since the residential rehab facility that helps people with mental illness and addiction closed down due to Covid19.
Of course, this wasn’t the first thing I asked him. The morning began with me saying “good morning.” However, something in the way he looked at me made my skin tingle with that mother’s sixth sense.
Each day I go to bed afraid to fall asleep in case something happens overnight, and I wake up each morning terrified I will find him sick or dead. This question is needed.
“I don’t think I do,” he says, in a calm, matter-of-fact way. Except I can see the pain behind his eyes. He is tired.
“Have you acted upon that feeling?” I ask, praying silently that the answer is no.
We have learned a whole new vocabulary these past few months as we deal with our son’s mental health and addiction. No accusations, no blame, no shame. I’m trying to get answers and be an ally. These suicide ideations or attempts have become a regular backdrop to our daily life. A bottle of vodka, enough beer to pass out, or anything he can consume or do in an extreme way with the goal of hurting himself or worse.
“No, not yet,” he says.
The stranglehold of Mental illness and addiction
Like that, my day changes. I can see my schedule in my head, and I push it aside.
“Why don’t you come on my beach walk with me and the dog,” I say. “Let’s just get outside and get some fresh air, and you can tell me whatever you want. Or, we can just be quiet together. Whatever you need.”
“Okay,” he says.
“We’ll leave in 5 minutes,” I say, trying not to betray the urgency in my voice that I feel to get this man out of the house and with me so I know he’s safe. Even if just for an hour.
While he gets ready, I text my assistant and ask her to cancel all my morning meetings. I tell her I’ll update her later regarding my afternoon schedule, depending on how things go. She knows what my message means.
My son talks the entire hour or so we walk along the beach and the road near our house. He talks about the voices in his head and how he doesn’t believe he is worthy of living. Also, he tries to explain how he is just so tired in general, and how he specifically is tired of not being good enough.
However, it’s not all serious. As we walk, we also laugh, mostly at the dog running through the waves. That laughter is a huge stress relief.
Parents will do anything to help their child
When we get back to the kitchen, the truth comes out.
“I lied earlier,” he says. “When you asked me if I acted upon my feelings, I told you no. But actually, I did.”
“Okay,” I say, flashing a million thoughts all at once, wondering what he did.
“I took everything left in the bottle of one of my anti-depressants,” he admits.
For a millisecond, time stops, as my brain tries to understand the level of danger without understanding anything about this drug or what the repercussions are.
Then we move into action.
“Let’s figure this out,” I say, calmly.
“Can you call your psychiatrist and find out what danger you are in while I go online and see what I can find out?”
He agrees.
Both the doctor and our research agreed that overdosing on antidepressants doesn’t typically kill you, but it can make you violently ill. We didn’t need to take him to the ER, thankfully, as with Covid, who knows what that would be like. However, the pills would make him horribly sick.
Our son started vomiting a few hours after our walk, and it continued throughout the day and most of the night. Finally, around 3am, we heard him snoring. A sign that he was finally sleeping.
Always be willing to start again at Day One
The next day we start over. Day one, again.
When he gets up, he is tired and weak from throwing up so much, but he is ready to start over.
Step one for this new beginning is getting back on all his medications with the right doses and schedule. Second step is clearing out his room and our entire house of every ounce of alcohol. He volunteers to also throw out all the junk food he’s been storing in his bedroom.
Over the course of the last 24 hours, I learned that for the past ten years, he did not live one day when he was both sober and on the right level of medication.
All the times he said he wasn’t drinking, he lied. When he said he was taking his meds, he wasn’t, or he took the wrong amount at the wrong time.
While he dutifully called his psychiatrist every couple of months, he lied to him, too, telling him he was fine. He refilled his prescriptions to only not take them at the right time or not take the right dose.
This reality hit me hard. My job was clear. Get him back to a baseline of sobriety, health and stability so the meds can do their job.
I thought we had been doing that for the past few months. But, no. Moving forward, I needed to pay much closer attention to everything.
Medications can also be suicidal weapons
One drug he liked to use as a weapon against himself is his anti-psychotic medicine. At 21, doctors diagnosed him with clinical depression with psychotic features. This looks a lot like mild paranoid schizophrenia.
Without his meds, he hears voices. Worst of all, the voices sound just like people he knows, and the voices always say horrible things about him.
Once, when he was working with another one of our sons, he told me his co-workers were saying mean things about him. I tried validating this with our other son, who responded with confusion and surprise. “No, mom, I’m positive that is not happening. Everyone likes him and makes comments about what a hard worker he is.”
While the voices are not real, they sound real. And he often thinks they are real. He cannot tell the difference. One of the worst voices, he tells me, is mine. That breaks my heart.
Maintaining mental health requires consistent medication
Together, we go through all his prescriptions and meds. He has an updated list from his doctor, who he spoke to again today.
We line up all the bottles.
He explains to me what each one is, while I read the detailed instructions and warnings. I take notes detailing when to take each one and how many pills. I then create a schedule to keep next to all the bottles in the kitchen cabinet.
Of course, there are missing pills. Not only the one he emptied yesterday, but a couple of others that he let the prescriptions run out. For others, there are three bottles of the same prescription.
We pick up new prescriptions for everything and begin a new routine.
Using one of those daily pill holders, I organize his supplements and his medications by morning and evening. All bottles, and these holders, will remain in the kitchen cabinet, which we now keep locked.
I hate this. But it is necessary.
Getting help from mental health experts
When talking to his therapist, who runs the residential rehab facility he was scheduled to attend pre-Covid, she asked him to take another medication: Antabuse. He is required to take it for 30 days before his session begins, which hopefully will now start in July.
This drug has been used to help alcoholics since the 1950’s in order to keep them from drinking. In fact, when taking Antabuse, even the slightest amount of alcohol consumption makes you very sick.
Considering the impact of this new drug, we take a shopping trip to the pharmacy to buy alcohol-free versions of all his toiletries. Everything seems to have alcohol in it: shaving cream, toothpaste, lotion, shampoo, etc. It reminds me of when I first went gluten free and learned how many food items contain wheat or flour.
Staying sober and healthy
For several weeks (I honestly don’t know how long it was), we all remain sober and healthy.
In the morning, I greet him and give him his meds and supplements, and then lock back up the cabinet. In the evening, the routine repeats itself.
We keep his car keys and his wallet. He does not leave the house without one of us.
After only a few days of this new routine, his eyes look different: whiter, healthier. He is more alert.
In July, the residential rehab facility was able to re-open, and he spent 28 days learning how to be the best version of himself.
I am so thankful for that place and the amazing people who founded it and and continue to work so hard to save lives and souls every single day.
I am also thankful to friends and colleagues who shared their stories with me, and allowed me to call them any time day or night if I didn’t know what to do. Or, if I just needed a compassionate ear. I could not have gotten through this without them.
The Mental health stigma and suicide rate
Through our experience, I learned how we are not alone. Far from it. In fact, millions of people and families face mental illness and addiction.
With the pandemic crisis, I cannot stop thinking about the people with mental health or addiction issues who do not have parents or family around them like our son does. People who are probably living on the streets, unable to have the financial or personal resources to stop using drugs or start taking medications.
The data is, frankly, depressing. More than 25% of adults in the United States suffer from a major mood disorder such as depression or anxiety. During Covid-19, experts estimate that number rose to over 40% of the population. At any one time, approximately 13% of adults are being treated for mental health problems.
Globally, mental illness is crippling families. The World Bank estimates that at least 10% of the world’s population suffers from some type of mental health issue, and 20% of the world’s children and adolescents suffer mental disorder.
Over 20 million people each month use substances in excess.
People with substance abuse disorders are six times more likely to commit suicide than those without, according to Mental Health America. The rate of completed suicide among people with alcohol or drug abuse problems is two to three times higher for men and six to nine times higher for women compared to those who do not have an addiction problem.
There is also a strong connection between homelessness, mental illness, and addiction. Reports suggest over 30% of homeless people battle mental illness, which often leads to drug and alcohol abuse.
What if we treated mental illness like a “real” disease?
I also learned how common it is for people to suffer from the dual diagnosis of addiction and mental illness. This is more common than we realize.
Some 25% of Americans with mental illness also suffer from some form of chronic substance abuse, either alcohol or drugs or both. The two work against you in a negative cycle that is hard to break. Sadly, about 50% of those with dual diagnosis are not getting treatment for either illness.
I once told my son that mental illness and addiction are diseases, just like cancer. Only these diseases are stigmatized. When someone has cancer, the world is quick to rally around the sick person and do whatever is needed to help them live and be cancer free.
However, when someone is an addict or mentally ill, the world vilifies them, as if these diseases are chosen by the victim.
No matter what illness your child suffers, a parent will do anything to help that child be healthy again. We continue to pray and work to keep our son healthy and, more importantly, happy. I want all of my children to feel worthy of this precious life they were given.
I think it will take all of us to break this stigma and embrace anyone who struggles with mental health or addiction. It is not without its challenges. Addicts will lie, steal, cheat, and hurt the very people who love them and want to help them.
However, each day is a new day. Tomorrow might be day one for you or one of your loved ones.
Sharing our stories and our voices
I struggled for months to write this. In my heart, I knew I needed to write down my experience and share it with others who might also be struggling. However, I found it hard to actually get it done or admit this happened. Honestly, there is guilt, shame, and embarrassment.
No matter how many people tell you it’s not your fault, it’s hard to hear it. As a parent, how can your child hurt and it not be your fault.
Part of healing from mental illness and addiction is letting go of the guilt and shame. For everyone involved.
I am sharing my story now.
Hopefully, together, we can break the addiction and mental health stigma that persists in our global society.
Today, I see moments when our son’s beautiful light shines bright. At least he now knows what his light is and how to shine it.
But there are still dark days. My hope is that he, and everyone experiencing addiction or mental illness, will discover how to maintain a quiet mind, an open heart, and the possibility for enduring happiness.
Margaret, my dear friend. You are an inspiration to all. It must have taken a lot of courage and inner strength to write and share this. I am so moved by it and know it will benefit so many people who are struggling with mental disorder. I hope your son will continue to grow stronger and follow your lead and share his story with others.
Sending you a big hug from afar. Know that you are loved and appreciated. snorts and all. I am here for you if I can be of any support. Lots of love.
Sweet Roma. How I miss you and your lovely, compassionate spirit. I feel your hug and send one back to you ten fold. Thank you my dear friend, Margaret
I am so sorry to hear this Margaret. It’s such a difficult journey, especially for your loved ones and your child. I hope that things will get easier, he gets the professional help besides your love and support. Mental illness is so difficult to diagnose, and once it is, it’s often progressed very far. I have a step-niece that had years of issues and now is recovered and has the proper meds and supplements. Plus a healthier mindset which takes so much work. A step at a time and a day at a time, like you say. Prayers for you during these challenging times. You are an amazing woman and mom. XOXO. Lorna
Lorna – thank you so much for your note. You are rigth that the healthy mindset is the hardest. And sometimes letting go of what you can’t control. Love back to you, Margaret
Dear Margaret – I’m sorry that your family has been through such a difficult time. With love – JB
Thank you, Jackie
Margaret-
Thank you for your bravery and strength. If only every parent was like you! Like your son, I used to hear voices too. However, they weren’t quite as “real” and usually only spoke at night. Luckily, after a really bad night, I called my PCP the next morning in desperation and made an appointment. After consulting my bloodwork, medication history (I’d tried so many things), and their office psychiatrist, they settled on a prescription for me. After a few weeks, those voices that had been there my whole life telling me I should die were finally quiet. That was 2017; they haven’t been back since.
I say this because there is a lot of stigma around medication as well. Society doesn’t give the side-eye to diabetics needing insulin, why medications for mental illness? I urge anyone still reading this to keep trying to find what works for you. The prescription didn’t magically make my life perfect, I still struggle, but now I *can* still struggle instead of lying down and giving up.
Much love to you and your family.
Christine – you are so brave to share your story. I am so sorry you lived through that for so long, thinking these voices wanted you to die. And I am so glad you found some peace of mind through the right medication. It is so vital for the right medications to be available and affordable. Thank you for sharing. I am so proud of you and happy for you! Margaret
Thank you for sharing your story and being a wonderful advocate for your son.
I lived this way for several years, leaving for work not knowing if my husband would still be alive when I got home.
It’s hard. And many of the drugs made things worse for him.
I don’t have lots of answers, but we as caregivers need to be able to share and receive support as well.
Thank you for being a part of the solution.
JB – thank you so much for your story and note. I am so sorry you had to go through that. I don’t wish that upon anyone. I hope your husband has found something to help him, and you have found some peace. Hugs, Margaret
Your story resonated within the spiritual fibers of my soul. It is time for us al to start treating mental disabilities as a medical condition just like cancer, or any other chronic illness. Life at times can be like a rollercoaster on a tightrope with the wind blowing and the waves crashing beneath us. We recently buried a friend who at the tender age of 33 was carried away by the angels, life had brutally rocked her with a serious of horrific moments and I thought there go us all but for the grace of God and the help of people who care. Deo gratias that your son has such wonderful dedicated, loving parents in his life, and that he has been able to get back to his equilibrium. I hope and pray that his progress continues to walk his path of life.
Thank you, Isaac. Your friendship warms my heart.
MD – you are such an inspiration. You were there for me last year when I hit the bottom trying to figure out what to do with my then 17-year old daughter. It was the first time in our journey with mental health and addiction that I didn’t feel alone. It has been quite a year since then, some good days, mostly hard days, but our girl is still with us and that is what matters.
Thank you for opening up and sharing your story – it brought me comfort at a time of great need. You’ve inspired me to share our story more openly, which has hopefully helped other families facing the same situation – we aren’t alone in this and it is important that we use our collective voices to shed light on this crisis.
Trey, you make my heart hurt and feel joy at the same time. Thank you so much for your comment. I am so glad I was able to help you, but your friendship and compassion has helped me so much. Hugs, Margaret
Hello Margaret. A friend shared your post with me. My son (nearly 23) struggles with depression and anxiety and has experienced a few psychotic episodes. We have recently started ketamine treatment (sublingual/oral as opposed to IV) and he has shown more improvement in several weeks than he did in several years. I am curious if you have considered ketamine or treatments other than typical anti-depressants, anti-psychotics and therapy. A few places to look at resources include askp.org and kriyainstitute.org. Feel free to contact me via email if you would like to hear more.
Hi Jay, thank you so much for reading this post, your note, and your suggestions. We have not tried this nor ever been given this recommendation. I will check it out and share with our son. I will contact you for more info as needed. I am glad your son is doing better, and I appreciate you and what a great father you are! Hugs, Margaret
Good luck. If you’d like to understand a bit more about what ketamine treatment is like, you can find a plethora of videos on YouTube. You might want to start with MedCircle videos.
Thank you for sharing your story Margaret- creating community and normalizing the reality faced by many struggling mental illness is powerful. Not burying our truth or feeling ashamed for them is a critical step.
Margaret – thanks for your courage and candor. I could not agree more that we need to break the stigma about mental health and be more open to sharing our challenges. The parallel you draw to cancer is so true – mental health is so misunderstood. It is easy to place blame and judgment on the person suffering. As a parent, teacher, relative, etc. it takes resilience, unconditional love, and forgiveness to be there for the person who is dealing with the struggle first hand. Most of all it takes a will to seek to understand the person’s struggle. I speak from my heart and from experience. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Thank you Janette. Love and hugs right back to you!!!
I am sorry you have to go through this M. Writing about your experience and sharing it will help others going through something similar.
Thank you, Suzanne. That is the hope.
Dear Margaret, this is devastating to hear. But it is also full of hope. Sending my hugs and best wishes to you and your son and your family. Don’t know if you have come across this amazing channel, Special Books by Special Kids (SBSK), which platforms people with all kinds of conditions to share their stories, there are quite a few mental illness stories on there that may provide solidarity, since knowing you are not alone can help a lot. All these stories are very life affirming.
SBSK channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4E98HDsPXrf5kTKIgrSmtQ/videos
SBSK Mental disorder videos specifically: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFnwF5yLSC06dORbxjJqR2MsqXCwOYbXL
Thank you, Amy, for your note and for sharing resources. I will definitely check those out. Best, Margaret
Margaret, I am so sorry to hear about your son’s struggles, but I do hope there is a light a the end of the tunnel. Thank you for being so honest and posting this. We lost my first cousin (we were more like brothers growing up) to an overdose last year. His wife had died from cancer a couple of years before, I did not know how to help him from the times we talked and it was so heartbreaking to me. I hope and pray that he is in a better place now and is not in pain anymore from the loneliness and depression. Thanks so much for sharing your story and I really hope it will help others.
Hugh, I was so happy to see your name in this comment section, but then so saddened by your story. I am so sorry for your loss. The feeling of helplessness you experienced and not knowing what to do is so normal and common. Perhaps there is something in that – how do we help people learn how to help when possible. Of course, the reality is sometimes it doesn’t matter what you do. Thank you for reading and sharing your personal experience. Hugs, Margaret
I agree with you that feeling of hopelessness is so common and so many things are influenced by family dynamics, social pressures, etc. i also agree with your point that sometimes it doesn’t really matter what we do, the person really can only get help if they want it. I am just really glad that right now that your Son is doing better, and he can continue on this path of recovery.
Hugs to you as well. I really hope we can all see each other and get back to some sort of normalcy in 2021 at some point. I have seen some very troubling statistics about drug and alcohol abuse and family physical abuse as an output of the lockdowns as well. Its just all so sad, but I remain hopeful we can get through this as a country. regards, HUGH
Thank you for sharing, Margaret. I’ve had too many friends who have lost a child, or have lost themselves, to mental illness. I have others in my family who are doing well… but your story echoes theirs. It is a daily struggle and it requires the help of a loving family. My heart goes out to your son and everyone who struggles not only with the sickness, but with the way our society deals with it. My hope is that, as more people share, we will be able to address the illness and respond better as a society. Maybe those who are suffering won’t feel all alone. All my best.
Thank you Michael. I agree that we need to make this okay to talk about. It’s incredulous really that something so prevalent that impacts so many people is still not considered okay. Best wishes to you!
I think mental illness touches so many families. My mother suffered from manic depression with schizophrenic tendencies. While my sister, brother and I were growing up, our mom struggled mightily ( 3 hospitalizations). I thank Ed God for family support during hard times. Just when it seemed that her mental health was stabilized , she was struck with breast cancer which metastasized into bone cancer. Within 7 months we lost my precious momma. I never doubted for a second how much she loved us, and I realized how she struggled to care for us throughout her battle with mental illness. Such a brave and loving woman who fought demons for 40 years. So sad, and I will never forget her love. kindness, and strength to overcome her struggles and care for her loves.
Katey – thank you for sharing your personal, touching, and sad yet happy story. My heart breaks for her, as no one chooses that life. I love how you remember her love for you and how she continuously fought to overcome this horrible hand she was dealt. Your hindset is truly beautiful, and I hope you can help others experiencing the same. Hugs, Margaret
Your unwavering love shines thru. These scenarios are so much more common than people think. U r awesome, Margaret
Thank you. Yes, many people are experiencing this. Hugs to you.
Sometimes ‘helping’ is the opposite. The first thing perhaps is not to intercede. Unfortunately, those with suicide idealization will often commit suicide just because they’re caught between too tired of living but too scared to die. It’s a whirlpool and it can suck all those around them in with the suicidal person. So sometimes, all you can do is pray until that person’s ready. No matter how painful.
Also, drugs can hurt. There are at least 10% of folks that lack the proper CYP2D6 enzyme. A lot of the medications CAN NOT be metabolized by the liver. The more drugs taken the worse the cycle so getting test to ensure the drugs aren’t exasperating the problem is helpful.
Often, it’s a hormone imbalance. Diet, allergies, and lack of pituitary output are culprits. Trauma resides in the nervous system and not in the head but the big pharma companies want you assault the situation with their products because that’s how they make the big bucks. Somatic trauma can be grief, event, or some incident that keeps playing over and over again. These create a type of PTSD and complex trauma. It could be subconscious and not a level but may need journaling and counseling to unravel like layers of an onion
Sometimes, people just don’t jive with the ‘reality’ of the world. It could be gender dysphoria, sexuality orientation issues, introvert versus extrovert in a family or cultural environment. Theory of the mind where one’s awareness is just not the same as everyone else’s. Self-medication is an escape so one has got to get to the root of ‘feeling bad’. Breathing, meditation, exercise. sleep, and activities can sometimes distract away from the ever cycle of anxiety, the whirlpool of angst. The constant worry and emotional fields of others is actually contagious so sometimes taking a step back, and let the sleeping dog lie brings more intuitive insight than attempting constant, active rescuing. It’s tough but sometimes giving space can be a solution as well.
As anxiety is contagious, modeling meditation, calmness and peace within yourself may systemically help whatever is going on. It’s the put your own mask on first.
The items on this page paint a picture of narcissism. Your life has to be public. Narcissistic parents are often the cause of toxic self-esteem in offspring. I’d start with you first, then perhaps the healing with your son can begin. Putting the attention on him to vicariously bring compassion to yourself is not integrity. While you’re suffering, it’s not easy. but perhaps the cure is within yourself and then the family dynamic can begin to heal.
Margi’s Musing, Women’s empowerment – these are BS, don’t you think? Posting on linked in as if this were some kind of a secret. Not buying it. As a woman of color, I find these things distressing. As someone who’s gender neutral and have had suicide thoughts for 70 years – can tell when the problem might be a family issue and not with the offspring. Just sayin’…..
Norma, I appreciate your detailed and frank comments. I agree that it starts with us, and I can tell you that I have been working on myself for many years, and I am not in any way trying to say you can’t work on yourself. However, what I’m doing is not BS to me. I am trying to put a voice to my own experiences to remove the silence around so many topics. I respect your opinion and all voices in this dialogue. I’m sorry for your pain and hope you find peace in your journey. Margaret
Motherhood is a knife that always seems to turn inward against our volition and best intentions, but no amount of self-sacrifice or involved parenting can promise you an untroubled child. You are enough. You did enough. You loved enough. And you’re strong enough to love your child through this without turning your sense of self-worth into a dumpster fire. I’ll be holding you all in the light, as we say.
Angela, Thank you. What a beautiful thing to say. You really hit it when you say you are enough. It is true that in many ways there is nothing we did or can do that makes a difference. But it’s so hard to believe that. We want to help our children. I appreciate you holding me and everyone dealing with this in the light. I will do the same for you! Loving your words. Margaret
Norma,
As a colleague and friend of Margaret’s, I can tell you that your assessment of her sharing this very raw and personal journey is the farthest thing from narcissism. It’s brave and selfless. It’s coming from a hope that her pain may bring some good. If people didn’t share stories like this, how can we as a society remove the stigma that surrounds mental health and addiction? Not only that, but it’s very human to want something good to come out of your personal struggle. Not for yourself, but the hope that you sharing your pain may mean that one less person doesn’t suffer. It’s a way to bring purpose and healing, as well as trying to help others. That’s not narcissistic, that’s human.
Norma – Given the stigma surrounding mental health and brain disorders, I believe that posts such as these on LinkedIn ARE very appropriate and helpful. Diagnosing or calling someone a narcissist online is, well, out of line. I hope you find peace.
Margaret, sharing your story took courage and great compassion. You will never know how many families you have helped by your belief that sharing your pain and your love for your son and your hope that he will be healthy and happy was more important than the guilt and the shame and the embarrassment. You are an amazing mother. Thank you.
Connie – thank you for your note. I was telling my husband that if my post helps even one person it is worth it. I agree we must share to help each other! Hugs, Margaret
Thank you for sharing your story. My family has been shaped and impacted by mental health issues and suicide; the most impactful happening next door with my cousin when I was young. The feelings of doubt and what if’s are never far away, yet unfortunately it’s still not something my family can discuss openly. We MUST make this conversation more open in a safe way for people to share without judgement. In my family, I know if we could that it would likely save the lives of others. I haven’t talked about it outside of immediate family ever, but your post has given me a lot to think about and consider.
Sending you all tons of love and light on the continued journey of courage, perseverance, and determination.
Mary, I am so sorry for your loss, and I understand the challenge your family and nearly every family has. I am so blessed you found this post helpful, and if it leads to you helping others feel okay about talking about it, that is awesome. Sending you positive energy and light back. Thank you!!! Margaret
Margaret,
Beautiful and courageous!!! I am keenly aware of all you have described but from a slightly different perspective but the feelings and experiences are all similar.
Thank you for sharing your story. For bringing light to a dark topic. I am moved by it and often feel this is my real life’s work. To share my story. I know the loss from suicide. The grief. Shame. Helplessness. And abandonment as it my case, it was my brother who left me when I was four. The grief from such a tragedy never goes away.
You are doing all the right things!!! Our power as mothers and family members is limited. However our love, hope, prayers, and education can make a real difference. Just as you are doing. One day at a time! Each day is all we really have.
Prayers for you and your son. For more good days than bad. And that hopefully in time he learns how to stay ahead of it or allows help when he can’t. You are one awesome and amazing mama!!!
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, the data to support how big this problem is, and shedding light on this topic so that hopefully we can all come together to make real improvements in our world and country.
#mentalhealthawareness #youmatter2me
Michelle, Wow. What an amazing comment and note. I am so sorry for your loss. I don’t know how you even deal with that as a four year old, and it must have been devastating for your parents. I appreciate your energy and light, and let me know how to support you in your life’s work! Thank you, Margaret
Hugs. Thank you for sharing. I’ve been on both ends of this. I have depression and anxiety that comes and goes, ever since I was 13. Now 40+, I’ve been hospitalized 3 times. Today I’m doing well – CBT and meds help keep me stable. My 12 year old son has struggled since he was 5. He now is in a program for kids with acute mental health illnesses instead of a typical school. We are on a long road to recovery and I’m thankful that, although it took many years, he’s receiving the treatment that he needs. This is the health crisis of our generation.
Alison, Thank you for sharing your story. What a journey you have been on, and now your son. He is blessed to have you there, and I’m so glad to hear there is a school that is working for him. School is a challenge for so many. Thoughts with you. Margaret
Thank you for sharing. My sister had her first schizophrenia episode at 17(I was 7) . She’s 68 now, the voices have quieted a bit. But my family never talked about it hid it, as though it was an embarrassment. I’ve never understood why we don’t treat mental diseases like other ailments. Thank you! It means a great deal to have others that understands the pain.
Larisa – Thank you for your story. That must have been frightening or at least confusing as a young girl. Agree we need to not hide or be embarassed but rather hold each other up. I am glad your sister has found some peace. MD
All so true. Thanks for sharing.
I have gone through this myself with me being the one.
Survived thanks to my wife’s attention and understanding. Now all back to sort of normal. Hopefully we will never experience this again. Our son is going through a great deal of life ups and downs at present and we hope he will be just fine.
Thank you, Tom, for reading and your note. And so happy to hear you have come out the other side of your journey. I think it is especially hard for young adults right now. My thoughts with your son. I’m sure you can provide great comfort to him.