Why We Suffer From Imposter Syndrome
Do you ask yourself “Who am I?” or “Why am I here?” Psychology loves to call this the Imposter Syndrome, but I think it’s more than that.
When growing up, I continually asked the universe and prayed to God to answer these vital questions. I wanted someone to give me a declarative answer; to take away the pain I felt of always feeling unsure of who I was or why I was put on this planet. Some people seem to have such clarity in their sense of self and purpose in life. So I assumed that I just hadn’t received the answer yet. Hopefully, someday, I would find the holy grail of life’s purpose and have the answer.
Of course, I learned later this was also part of my constant belief that I was never good enough the way I was. And if only I could figure out who I was, then I would be good enough.
If you are nodding your head, I will tell you that nearly everyone feels this way and has asked these questions. Many people still do.
The first time I realized this was a universal phenomenon, I was shocked. I was speaking to a room full of successful, women leaders in the technology industry. I asked the audience if they ever asked themselves the question “who am I” or “why am I here?” Nearly every hand in the room went up.
That’s when a light bulb went off in my head.
Our Internal Identity vs our External image
Somewhere along the way many of us have lost sight of who we are.
On the outside, we may appear to be confident and assured with a clear sense of self. But on the inside, we are filled with doubts and suffering from imposter syndrome.
You know the experience. You walk into a meeting or some gathering where you assume everyone else there is more competent and qualified than you. Everyone else deserves to be there. However, you do not. You anticipate the horrible moment when everyone discovers you don’t belong. That you are not good enough.
A few years ago, I developed a fabulous way to combat the imposter syndrome. I think back to a book I used to read my children, titled, Everybody Poops.
The book is designed to teach children how everyone is the same. I think it’s also a fun way to help toilet train toddlers. But for me, the book has become my mantra when I walk into a room. I use it to remind myself that no matter how beautiful, successful, talented or wealthy everyone else is or might be, at some point, they all sit on a toilet with a naked bum and poop. Oh, and their poop probably stinks, too. (I added that part; the book doesn’t talk about smells!)
This beautiful mantra helps me go from insecure to confident and often results in me entering these situations with a little grin on my face. This makes others usually assume I am feeling confident in who I am. Ironically, as we now know, they are probably suffering from imposter syndrome themselves.
Rediscovering Why You are Here
So, I am now going to reveal to you that age-old question of WHY YOU ARE HERE.
Are you ready?
You are here to be . . . YOU.
Yep, that’s it. You are on this planet to be the wonderful you only you can be.
But there is a caveat. It’s not just any you.
You are here to be the absolute best version of yourself — you in all your glory. Not hiding your talents, or questioning who you are, or trying to be something you are not because you think that’s what others want.
You are here to be the YOU that you were born to be.
Letting Your True Light Shine
This is what I call: Letting Your True Light Shine!
The reason we keep asking this question is we have somehow lost or dimmed our light. We have forgotten who that perfect, raw, unique self we were when we were little. When the only thing we knew to be was who we were or who we are.
There’s a verse in the bible that talks about “man” being created in God’s perfect image. It’s true. You are more than good enough. You are perfect – just the way you are.
I think singer Pink says it best in her song, F**king Perfect. Put this on your mirror and tell yourself every morning, “I am perfect!”
Pretty, pretty please, don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less than f***in’ perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you’re nothing
You’re f***in’ perfect to me!
You are perfect just the way you are! Go out there and let your true light shine, baby!